project home

a good friend of mine recently wrote:
"It's funny, the need we all feel to feel 'at home', but I think home cannot exist in a building, but in living, in others and just in yourself, as fluid & shifting as that may be."
-e.r. mendenhall

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This brief note made me sincerely contemplate my perceptions of home. In my reflection, I wanted to hear what home is for some of my other friends and family. Here are the thoughtful respsonses:

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i think that perhaps home is familiarity. and i dont think it has to be a specific place. it could be a feeling, a smell, a person. it is where ever you feel connected with security. although i havent felt that kind of security in a long time, i have felt home when i kick the leaves in my old neighborhood, when i sit in seats that i sat in when i was young, when i smell the same cut grass i used to mow when i was twelve. i dont know where that security is anymore. and i wonder if i will ever have it again.

christopher

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Julia,
For me "home" isn't a place. It is a feeling of belonging and comfort. It is anyplace where I am calm and feel safe. This has been many places for me: the mountains after a long hike or sitting by the campfire after a week long camping trip. Home is laying on the beach meditating and listening to the waves of the ocean. Home is a good meal with loved ones. Home is a long drive with a good song. Home is laying next to Nick (my husband) and just being.
I think we long for "home' because it gives us a sense of belonging. If we accept ourselves we can find home anywhere.
I hope that is what you were looking for. Thank you for letting me think about it.
Love you,
Meg

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Home for me is wherever Megan is. That could be in Utah, California, Florida, or Maryland or any foreign country. I may miss other people that are in my life when I'm home, but that to me is home. I think we feel the way we do about home because it's comfortable. I think we look for that comfort when we are uncomfortable.

Nick

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Hi Julia-
You couldn't ask an easy question?! I'm not sure my thoughts will be very original, but you can do what you want with them--credit or not--it doesn't matter.

I actually thought about this a year ago Christmas when Jeff came "home" for the holidays. After a few days he talked about returning to school as going "home." For a mother whose been a basket case since her son left for the first time, this is a nightmare. What it made me realize, though, is home becomes a place where a person is allowed to grow. Jeff was done "growing" here with us (I start to cry as I write these words) and moved to a new place when he was spreading his wings and growing into adulthood. Your parents' home is always a place where a child should feel comfortable and loved, but it's only a temporary situation. Since I was a teenager, my dad said that he'd leave a light in the window for us when I was out with friends or when I was planning a trip to D.C. He still does. They’re words that imply comfort, safety, love, and home. They are a reminder that I will always be welcome no matter what. But that light moves with us, and the place we long for is the place where we grow into the people we want to be with people who allow us to do that.

In the church we talk a lot about "light" -- not hiding it but sharing it and seeking it. The Savior has placed a similar light in the windows of heaven. He wants us to return to live with Him and our Father in Heaven--our ultimate home where we will continue to grow and progress. My eternal perspective of home will probably last until I have to leave Leslie at her dorm at BYU at the end of August. Then I'll be a basket case again and my nightmare will be repeated when she speaks of school as home.

I hope this wasn't a trick question like "where did I come from?" and the answer I give you is much more that you ever wanted and all you wanted to know as "Washington, DC."

Hope you're doing well. I hear great things about what you're doing. Have fun.
Love,
Meredith

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Julia,
I was actually thinking about this a few weeks ago when Mary was with the girls in Colorado. Our house is abnormally quiet when I'm the only one in it. I realized that home is wherever my family is. It doesn't matter if I am in my house, it's not home unless my family is here with me. The old saying "Home is where the heart is" may seem cliche, but it is true if your heart longs for those you love when they are
away.

Probably more than you bargained for, but there you go. –Owen

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Home is where you are in your mind and soul. It doesn't matter if you're living in New York. You can still love the country side. If you are in the mind set that home is in a specific place, than home is there. For example with me, some people may say that my home is in Iowa since I'm living here, but it's not; Utah is my home. I'm not saying that where I live in Utah is neccesarily home, but merely that Utah itself is home. I am a country boy. I love the mountains and love to be there with them. Therefore, home is Utah since my mind and soul are always there.

-Bozz

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I would love to answer your survey! Home....it's my family and good, true friends. Really, I feel at home everywhere if I'm with my family. It might be because they are my foundation. They are the reason I am who I am. Being comfortable in your own skin is home; the place where you know you are welcome. A place where you know you can be yourself. Home is also a state of mind where I let stress and problems leave me and know that at the end of the day I'm still me, and that comforts me. Home is that place you dream of when you are in trouble. You run to it. You have fun in it, you socialize in it and when you feel love you are surrounded by it. When I dream of my home, I don't think of the home we live in now, but I think of my childhood home, even though it's been eight years since we've lived there. It's a scent that you can almost step into, and feel at home without even being close by. Scent is such a powerful thing.

Why I long for home? Hmmmmm....I long for shelter, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Home is the feeling you remember more then any other. I long to be free of worry and secrets, just a place to let it all out! At the same time, I long to feel protected from the harsh world. I long for that confidence I feel at home...Where I know my family or friends are there to build me up and not tear me down. It's a sense of direction; you know when you are home. It's consistent. You know it will be there and that's something to long for.

-Ashley W.

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Hello Jiggy,
Sorry it took me so long to reply, but for what it's worth, here is what I think:

Home, to me, is anywhere where the people I love are. I love doing nothing with someone and being totally comfortable and having a great time while doing it. For example, sitting in a room and laughing for hours about the dumbest stuff. I love laughing with those that I love. I think that that is my favorite thing to do with the people I love; laugh. Laughter is part of home for me. While I used to consider home as just our house in SLC and our family, that is expanding. I think I have made some lifetime friends over the years, and although they will never compare 100% to my family and the love I have for them, they come close and are a good second home.

Although I am a people person, I have learned to find home within myself as well. I think we all have to learn how to be at home in ourselves, no matter where we are. It is so hard and I certainly haven't mastered it yet, but I am working on it. I have found so much peace in the times that I have to reflect by myself or feel the spirit. I think most of those times I find are when I am outside because that is usually where I feel closest to God, and really He is my home. Yes, I have just decided that although I have already given you quite a few definitions of home, that is my final answer. My home is where God is.

-Laura

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Home..lets see.
Home for me is all of my family and friends gathered together in our kitchen eating, talking, and mostly laughing together.
Home is where I can get advice on all of my crazy ideas and plots for life.
Home is where I go when my crazy plots fall fail and I need comfort.
Home is my Dad chasing me around the house, while I laugh hysterically.
Home is my Mom dancing with me in he living room for hours.
I love home..its fun.

-Hannah

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Family and friends,
Thank you for your lovely responses. Here are my thoughts:

Home is a car ride in which words can flourish with meaning, or silence can rest peaceably among us. Home is the absence of clammy palms and a dry mouth; a place where laughter resonates through the heater vents and warms the inner core of the soul. It is a good book, read by lamp light, on a rainy day, in a place familiar to the bare soles of our feet.

More than this, home is conversations where our chests are opened, our fragile emotional anatomy exposed, with full confidence it will be handled with care. Home breathes and looks into our eyes by way of people. These are people with whom we often feel an inexplicable kinship, people for whom our hearts surge with gratitude.

It is only natural to long for home. We are all searching to be understood, loved, trusted, safe and peaceful. When we find these things, we subsequently find ourselves in the midst of a beautiful symbiosis called home.
-julia

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i would love to hear from more of you. feel free to comment.