and i love her/ be still

happy birthday, dad! really him. u of u dorms his freshman year 1974.


hello, vulnerability. great to see you again.

so it was my dad's birthday on sunday. he is one of the best people i know--reliable, good, wise, cautious, generous, practical and funny. he is one of the main reasons i ever considered picking up a guitar. his renditions of blackbird, here comes the sun, the boxer, rocky raccoon are the soundtrack to my childhood. he recently called me out of the blue and left a message (which he rarely does, so it MUST have been important) about how I should mix some old songs that people know into my set, specifically The Beatles. I can think of little more intimidating than covering The Beatles. This last semester I arranged a version of "And I Love Her" with the help of my guitar teacher.

So, a shout out to my dad--an uber-nearly relentlessly jazzy version of "And I Love Her." I toyed with the idea of changing the pronouns, and actually did in my performance of it at school. I felt like the integrity of the song was in question when I did that, so here it is, original lyrics and all...this pronoun thing is a topic for later.

And I Love Her
julia: vocals, guitar


in remembering my dad this year, i rounded up an old tape of him playing just pre- mormon mission. when i heard his young, vulnerable, almost boyish voice, perhaps for the first time in my life it hit me that he existed before i did. his 19-year-old innate wisdom and the simultaneous insecurity of coming into oneself was shockingly apparent in the few sentences he uttered on the tape. it was a time machine that nearly reduced me to tears. i know that space he sought to navigate then, but i had never considered that he too, omniscient Dad, had ever been my age before. you can learn a lot from someone's voice--what they say, what they omit, the inflection. it was a revelatory experience for me--humanizing, comforting.

my dad doesn't play guitar as often as he used to anymore, and i miss the sound of the D-28 pouring from his bedroom. i now live in my parents' old room, so i'm left to carry the torch of late night songstress. i decided to cover one of his songs from the tape for his birthday. here is ol' steve's song called "be still" ca. 1975. he will probably kill me if he ever reads this, both for calling him old and publishing his song. as mentioned before, he's one of the more practical people i know and killing me is the most practical thing to do.

love you, dad.
be still
julia: vocals, guitar
dad: music, words

Walking down that long road
Not sure which way to turn
My mind says yes, body says no
Why then should I go

Be still in yourself
Be still
Close your eyes

How long have I been sleeping, my friend?
Is it really the end of time?
Yesterday is so distant
Now I found the true song somehow among those lies

Looking onward
What’s in store
Knowing that there’s so much more

Some say turn your head
But I’d be laying on the devil’s bed

Be still in yourself
Be still
Close your eyes


Lose yourself in what he taught
Find yourself in your own thought
Dreaming out can bring to pass
Teaching what you found at last

Understanding what you have to do
It’s between the son and you

The light of delight shines over me