belief is emblematic / white light

(as big as his ego)


early? wha?!

a multiple choice quiz about why i might be early:
a). i decided it was time to dethrone ty pennington's picture next to the word "productive" in the dictionary. (i swear he's on speed. no one could yell "MOVE THAT BUS!" with so much vigor every time without the aid of some sort of narcotic).

b). i am out of wheat thins, granola bars and chips & salsa and attempted (successfully!) to channel all carbohydrate ingesting energy into music. i can't believe this mahogany guitar cost me so much. it tastes like dirt. add it to the list of things that smell good and taste bad, which i have not yet compared to the list of things that taste good and smell bad (Cooler Ranch Dorito's, anyone? you could kiss your 7th grade braces-wearing popularity goodbye after even eating just one of those conniving little things).

c). another project is due and i am two timing the 52 in 52 by asking you to listen to my sorry attempt at successful atonality.

d). i'm procrastinating something else.

the big reveal....b (partially) c and d are all correct! i would never attempt to dethrone ty pennington. i'm afraid his spikey hair would impale me and no one would come to hear me sing if they knew HE was going to be there, protruding from my gut. i can hear him now: "MOVE THAT GUT!" Buzzkill.

the music: i am certain i will discuss atonality vs. tonality here shortly, but tonight is ty's night. let's not spoil it for him. one statement about atonality: if it is how music is really supposed to be and always has been then why did it take so long to evolve and why, in it's very name does it reference that which it is not? in rejecting tonality it must reference it. that's not to say i do not respect it and find the motive for its creation intriguing. i think i will continue to study it for the rest of my life, but let's be honest, i had to write this project and i am by no means a master atonal composer. i wish i had put a lot more time into it. i love choosing a nonsensical, heavy-handed title for something that doesn't quite mean something to me. it's cynical and snide and leaves me feeling somehow less vulnerable, like maybe you'll think i'm just "joking" if you don't think it's good. meet the emancipation of dissonance, folks. this will stretch your ears. those are the right notes. written for three guitars, it's:

belief is emblematic


because i'm asking something difficult of you, i also dug up a song i wrote my junior year of high school. it was the first time that i really thought i could write something that could last, even just for me. i still like it and admit that openly. it is so different from what i do now and that endears me. lyrically, it was a completely new approach--one that i've come to love all to well: personification and crypticism. in this recording from 2004, my voice sounds so immature, my fingers, weak. i love that about it.

julia (2004): vocals, guitar

white light


my white knuckled mind caught a train last night
and upon my eyelids the moon bled white light.
had to escape the nine to five
cause i'd become routine's reluctant wife.

my white knuckled mind brought ball and chain last night
the weight of arrival cold inside
had to escape the shackle's bite
cause i'd become captive of the night.

and i am ready to be morning light.

finally, my friend emily, had a link to Tune-yards and I was blown away by this woman's voice and the way that she lets it sound. hatari is the song i wish i wrote this week--or ever in my life.

long winded today. man. for all of you wanting me to get angry, i'm nearly there. if one of my roommates eats the last of my cinnamon life cereal i might snap...am i hungry?

thank you for putting up with me and putting me up in your hearts. it means a lot. thank you thank you!